Razor Scooters and Pig Tails

In your mind picture a chubby girl (not just chubby...borderline obese) with piggy tails in her hair, glasses, missing teeth, riding around on a razor scooter.  Can you picture it?  This is who I refer to as Fat Annie.  I was about 8 years old.  I knew it was important to be healthy and eat right and exercise.  My parents were VERY active people, my mom taught water aerobics every morning at 5:30 (and/or ran) and my dad ran or biked every morning as well.  They had shown us through example how important healthy living was.  All of us kids were involved in sports, we competitively swam, played soccer, gymnastics, and many other sports to name just a few.  Even though I knew the importance of this...I still was a chubby kid.  My eating habits just didn't mean anything to me...I would over eat.  My parents got very worried about my health and I was sent to a nutritionist.  This helped a little bit, but I was still a chubby one.  I played Soccer and Swam, but the exercise I was doing wasn't enough.  

I went through Jr High and yes I was still chubby, I know how cruel kids can be, I was made fun of frequently.  Thankfully, I was blessed with a few best friends who I will always be grateful for, they didn't seem to care or notice my weight.  They are the reason the getting made fun of didn't scar me.  I stuck with these friends and continued to play soccer and got involved in Student Government.  Which helped boost my self esteem.  I was in 9th grade, our school was part of a national program that was to help get schools more fit.  This program provided weight lifting rooms for the schools, and in return the kids were weighed at the beginning of the semester and each month for the term of the class.  This was the start of turning point for me.  I loved lifting weights, and it helped with my run time.  I knew my weight was out of control at this point in my life, but it wasn't until recently that I knew how bad it really was.  I was biking every morning with my parents who would run at least 5 miles, and then with the lifting at school, I started to see results. I lost quite a bit of weight during this school year, I was addicted to it!

For most people this would seem like an awesome thing being addicted to getting fit for a chubb-ster like me.  However, it got out of control during the summer.  I was trying to get onto the Varsity Soccer team, so I was going to soccer camps, weight lifting classes, running on my own, and more training.  In total I was exercising at least 6 hours every day (most days it was 8 hours).  This doesn't seem like a bad idea, until you understand I wasn't eating when I was doing this.  Eating while I was exercising made me sick, so I just wasn't eating.  You better believe the pounds started shedding I lost a TON of weight that summer close to 60 lbs, I was addicted to exercising, I was malnourished, and I was an unhappy person, I was super bitchy to say the least. It was time for tryouts for the soccer team.  I made it all the way through try-outs every cut up until they posted the teams. I didn't make the team. I was relieved.  Soccer wasn't fun to me anymore.  I still wanted to be in shape and have "friends" and get dates at this point (I was 15...so that seemed like the important thing to me!) But Soccer wasn't the way I wanted to do it anymore.  I went from a size 14 at the start of the summer down to size 2-4 at the start of my Sophomore year.  I gained a little bit of weight back, which is expected because I started eating again, but I stayed at about a 6-7 through my Junior year.  I was super involved in school and I got busy, and stopped exercising.  I honestly don't know how much I gained or what pant size I was my senior year.  

I moved away for College to SUU, I was determined to not gain the Freshman 15!  I got a gym membership, and I was very careful about my exercise, I couldn't let myself get addicted to it again as bad as I did.  I had to be very strict and keep to the letter of my plan, to make sure I didn't get out of control again.  I didn't want to be in that place again.  After my freshman year I didn't gain the 15, thankfully!  I started working at Great Harvest that summer, I didn't gain weight while working there, which is shocking, but that is where I found my love for whole wheat bread.  I was eating pretty healthy working there, I'd eat half a sandwich for lunch and the rest for dinner.  I soon decided I had outgrown Cedar City and so I got an awesome job and moved to Vegas.

Once I moved to Vegas, I met D, we dated, got married, and I stopped working out.  My gym membership didn't work in Vegas, and well...things got out of control again.  I gained weight, We gained weight.  I may not have gained the Freshman 15...but the First Year 30 came back with a vengeance.  For both of us!   I didn't notice the weight gain on myself or on D, because we saw each other every day.  I got pregnant with Zoe, I was worried about getting weighed at my Dr's appointments.  I HATE SCALES!  It takes me back to the place of when every day I would step on the scale and judge myself.  I didn't look at the scale when I was pregnant...I would turn my head when they would weigh me at my appointments.  I ended up gaining 24 lbs during my pregnancy, which I was able to take off soon after I delivered her.  But I was still WAY overweight.  We ended up moving up to Utah when Zoe was about 6 months old, and it wasn't for another year before I started going back to the gym.  My dad has always encouraged healthy living, so I started going to spin classes, I loved them!  I felt great, and I started to get fit.  I went 4 days a week.  I ended up having to stop them when I got pregnant with Tye.  But because D was now going to the gym and starting his lifestyle change I too changed my eating habits.  I only gained 12 lbs with my pregnancy.  

I left the hospital at my pre-pregnancy weight, and as soon as I was cleared post-baby I started going back to the gym.  I have been working out now for a little over two months. It hasn't been easy, I have had to work my gym time around D's work schedule.  So that means on Monday and Tuesday I get up at 4 in the morning to get to the gym at 4:30 to work out before he goes to work.  I was trying to do this on my own.  I wasn't seeing the results I wanted, in fact I felt like I was bigger than I was before, I was using MyFitnessPal, and I wasn't going over my calorie intake, and I had taken a few pounds off, but not what I wanted.  I had a total meltdown in a dressing room trying on pants.  At that moment D offered to coach me through it, I am now on an even stricter exercise routine, and my eating habits have to change, I need to eat more lean proteins, and I have to eat breakfast!  

Every person is different and each body reacts differently to different exercises.  So every day I am to do an hour of cardio.  This isn't just walking or a light jog on the elliptical, this is an hour of HARD cardio.  I do 40 mins on the spin bike, then I do 20 mins on the elliptical at a low level and a fast run (for me it is at least 8 min mile) Then the next day I switch it up and do 40 mins on the elliptical and 20 mins on the spin bike.  I go to the gym 5 days a week.  Before I go to the gym I force myself to eat breakfast, not just a little bit, but I have to eat a meal.  I eat oatmeal and usually a banana.  I make sure that I stay hydrated during my workout. Once I get home I make a protein shake and have that within 10 to 15 mins of my workout.  My snacks are things like string cheese, pretzels, and almonds.   It has only been a week that I have done this new routine and my mile time the first day was a 12 min mile, then it went to an 8 min mile.  

I am writing this down and actually sharing it because I know how hard it is to keep weight off, I have been a yo-yo dieter/ work-outer for years, I have been the chubby kid, the skinny unhealthy one, and I have been unhappy with my image.  I am ready to make a life change, for me!  I want my kids and D to have me around for a long time, I want them to know that being healthy is important.  When Zoe asks where I am going in the mornings, I tell her the gym, when she asks why I say to get fit.  I don't want either of my girls to have an unhealthy image of what "skinny" is, I want them to be healthy and fit.  And I want to be able to be a role model for my girls in this, I don't want them to get this from the media.  I am on a plan that is achieve able, it is a small step, it isn't anything drastic.  But it is a step that I needed to take.  I can sacrifice ONE hour of sleep to workout and set that example for my girls.  I make sure that I am proud of myself when I hit a milestone.  Like today, I did my first 6 min mile, no I couldn't keep that pace up the whole time, but I did one mile at that pace! Tomorrow, I'll see if I can do two miles at that pace!  D has been my inspiration to keep this up.  I love how much he encourages me.  He handled my meltdown in the dressing room well, he had a solution, he is helping me get to where I want to be.  He motivates me.  I am ready to stop seeing myself as "Fat Annie".  I will always remember those times in my life where I was unfit and unhealthy, because it helps keep me going at the gym to run my guts out!  When I see a bowl of oatmeal and I don't want to choke it down anymore, I will remember that to get fit it isn't just about exercise, it is two parts, exercise and EATING.  I am doing this for me.  This is for my own benefit, it is to make sure that I keep going, I have goals that I have set and I will achieve.  Yes, it will take time, and Yes, it is going to be hard.  But the hardest part is over...starting!