Remember the time...

2013 didn't start out how we would have liked, I hate that I have to post this in past tense but I believe it needs to be said- Remember the time: Seth would hide our shoes so we couldn't leave Grandma Karen's house... Seth would say the dinner prayer and would pray for the alligators, sharks, and every animal under the sun... Seth was playing Hoopla and was trying to describe Madonna (aleagueofverone?)... Seth would show everyone his birthmark... Seth would go downstairs and would be cuddled up next to his dad... Seth was the second funniest kid in his school... Seth ate 5 ice creams at my wedding just to get a girls number (and no he never asked for it, just kept going back for more ice cream)... Seth would look up to his brother... Seth would be sitting at Grandma's kitchen table and would have the biggest grin on his face when we would show up... Seth's laugh would make everyone's day... Seth talking music... Seth talking TheChive... Seth being a steady rock in his family... Seth being everyone's best friend... Seth would light up any room he was in... trying to explain to people how he wasn't just my cousin... I got the phone call at 10:20 at night that made my heart drop, made me think I was in a dream, made me wish it was a nightmare... Remember the time, that we had to say goodbye. It was the hardest goodbye I've had to say- I loved my cousin and I miss him everyday- I hope that I can live my life the way he lived his, he lived life at the fullest and he never saw anything negative in life, he just lived and lived it well! I want my children to know who he was, and how he lived. I hope that I can live my life in the way that he did so that my children can see how life should be lived and loved. Remember the time, I wish I would have hidden your shoes so that you didn't leave yet? Seth thank you for being such an amazing example to us.

D stands for...

This is my late fathers day post for the two amazing "Dad's" in my life. My poor husband has some big shoes to fill when it comes to my expectations for a dad for my daughter. You see my own dad sacrificed so much for us kids to make sure that we knew our dad and he knew us. (He changed careers so he could see us kids more, he missed work meetings to make sure he didn't miss a single birthday, he would be at every soccer game/swimming meet/mother's day program) Yes, my dad is amazing! My dad was diagnosed with cancer in May of this year. This fathers day was kinda difficult for me, for more than one reason. I know life is very delicate, and it is a gift to be here every day. I know that I am loved by my own father as I am the father of my own child. I will never forget something my dad said to me about a week after he was diagnosed, (side note, while my dad was getting tested to find out if he had cancer, I too was getting blood drawn weekly to make sure that I didn't have cancer- None of us kids knew that he was getting tested.) He was driving me to work and goes "Annika, I just prayed as you were getting all of your blood work done, that if one of us had to have cancer it was me not you. I have lived a good life, I have done so much in my life, I have seen my kids grow up and experienced things that most people don't get to do in a lifetime, and I have done it already. You are young and need to see your daughter grow up." This is always how my dad has been, making sure his kids come first. (after my mom and his religion). Poor Derrick had some BIG shoes to fill in my mind. But I knew that he could do it! these two pictures are my favorite of me and my dad from my wedding day! "Daddy/Daughter Dance" we are really good dancers! The second dad in my life is my husband Derrick. He has been the most amazing dad and husband anyone could ever ask for. He has overcome so much in his life, and he has kept his daughter the center of his life even before she was born. You see Derrick's biggest dream in life is to be a good dad...and guess what?! He has been an AMAZING DAD! Zo is just like her Daddy, she looks just like him, she is stubborn just like him, she laughs like him, and she LOVES superhero's just like him. I love that my daughter at 18 months old looks up to her daddy as her role model. (I call Derrick, "D" most of the time, if she wants to get his attention now she yells "D" and it just makes me laugh) I love that my husband cares enough to make sure to give his little girl kisses every night before she goes to bed. That when I am too tired to get up he doesn't complain he just gets up with her and comforts his daughter. I love that my husband is man enough to change a poopy diaper! I love that he gets her to smile when noone else can. I love that he is the daddy that dances in the car and sings REALLY loud to get his girls to laugh and dance/sing with him. Derrick has had to deal with a LOT this year, with my medical problems, to a miscarriage, to a broken arm, to having to comfort me when I just can't take it anymore. and he does this all with a smile on his face, he is my other half, my stronger half, he is the father of my children, he is my everything. I am not trying to make this mushy gushy, but I do want him to know that I am proud of him. I am proud to call him my partner in crime! D has been an incredible example to me on how a parent should be. Derrick has had to do so much for me these past few months and I know it hasn't been easy. But he has been the dad that has outgrown the shoes I thought he should fill- I love you Derrick, Happy Father's Day! My Favorite Pict!

updated picts of Zo-Beanie!

I haven't been good at updating my blog...we moved to Utah, Zo is almost 7 months old, she crawls and laughs, and can't wait to see her cousins in July!!! (she had to learn how to crawl fast so she can keep up with Adam!) We went for a walk yesterday and took a few pictures of her...so here they are!

baby Zo talking

She is learning her voice...and she loves to hear it.

12 weeks goes by way too fast!

So I only have a couple more days home alone with little Zo-bean. Ok I have today and tomorrow. On Monday I go back to work. I am not looking forward to this in any way shape or form. I don't know if its lucky or not that Derrick's job ends tomorrow. He will be Mr. Mom and I'll be back at work. We really want to move up to Utah to be closer to my parents so my mom can help watch the baby while we work and go to school. Yet, we have not found any jobs up there. Application after application and nothing. It is very depressing! We won't move without a job up there because I have such a good job down here that paid 12 weeks maternity leave. We need our benefits (just in case) and well we need an income. I'm so thankful that Derrick will be watching her and I don't have to put her in daycare...I don't think that I could do it! (and I really think my mom would come down here and kidnap her before her first day of daycare anyway!) I have had such a good time being a mom- its hard work, but it is so rewarding watching her learn all her new tricks, like smiling, coo-ing, crossing her eyes, following us around. I just love it! I know everything will work out- its just hard to put everything on faith. I have faith and know that the lord is watching out for us because we are doing everything right. Its just a challenge not having a plan! I like to plan...and I can't. I shouldn't vent on here but I wanted to share that...and some cute picts of my baby!

i don't know what to do with curls...

My little girl has such curly hair...and having stick straight hair i don't know what to do with it- so usually she looks like a little monster with her hair sticking up everywhere sporting a very nice mohawk!

update...

So since Nov 12th a lot of things have changed, after going to the hospital 4 times, they finally let me have the baby! I had a horrible experience with the hospital nurses and the Dr they assigned to Zoe was an idiot. But besides that it wasn't my last time at the hospital for the Lueras! My dad couldn't wait to see the baby until December so he and my mom surprised us and drove down to see us in the hospital! My dad left my mom down in Sin City to help out for a little while (little did she know that it was going to be weeks that she stayed to help us out...and SO THANKFUL for that!) So because I had gallstones the Dr's had to recheck my levels before letting me leave the hospital- I asked one of them finally because they said my levels were high (not knowing what my levels were or what normal was) what they were (and because uncle mitch wanted to know to make sure I was ok) apparently normal is in the 50s...mine 430! and another was in the 180s...after I had little Z they were in the 80s so at least I was able to go home before I had to go back...So a week later back to the hospital for our same day surgery we went- I was worried about it, having just had a baby you start to think the worst! I went into surgery telling one of the two Teng brothers (both the Dr and the Aneisteiologest were named Dr Teng) that I was sorry if I said anything too stupid, that I might just keep talking and talking (Amanda said something similar to Uncle Mitch) well I fell asleep shortly after and woke up with a tube down my throat I started coughing thinking why in the Hell is this down my throat don't they know I'm alive?!?! they removed it shortly after i started gagging and all I hear is the Dr say she is getting admitted until 2300 having it be 830 at night when it all started I was thinking ok thats just for the observations then I'll be home with my baby! shortly after Derrick comes in and says so did the dr talk to you? I said he said I was getting admitted and everyone keeps telling me its because of the stones- but didn't I just have surgery to get rid of them? Derrick pulls out X-rays and pictures and goes you have to have another surgery tomorrow. See this is your gallbladder its full of stones- see this? its your GI track, you have gallstones stuck in there so they have to go in and clean them all out. GREAT! another night at the hospital and my baby was at home with my mom...I had been given 10 different IV's in the last two weeks and I was sick of them and the hospitals! Well I wasn't able to eat anything before the first surgery and where they didn't know when the second one would be I wasn't allowed to eat anything after it- I was allowed to drink water for 30 mins and then nothing...I wanted to scream I just wanted to drink some Damn water! haha oh well- the next morning another Dr showed up he was going to do the 2nd surgery and wanted it done by noon. So down we go to the operating rooms again- this time I was determined to be home by 4 at the latest! haha yeah right! at least we made it home by ten! As I was getting put under I hear the Dr doing the procedure freaking out at an operating room tech and was dropping the Mother F'ing bomb like noones business- I almost told the guy putting me out that I wanted a different Dr because this guy couldn't control himself! But I was already on my way out and didn't hear anything else...I woke up this time with NO tube down my throat and apparently this time no stones or fragments of stones! I was free at last to recover and then get home!!! I am like my sister a little too much...but apparently this time I thought I needed to one up her and spend an extra night and surgery in the hospital! NEVER AGAIN!! anyway...more pictures of the baby will be up soon!