Reminder to Myself:

I am going to share my two biggest fears: Mirrors and trying on pants in a dressing room.  Yes, these are my biggest fears.  As I have been on this journey of getting healthy, I am being forced to get over my fears.  I have an amazing husband who has been helping me concur these irrational fears, and has made me feel beautiful through this whole process (and before as well!)  I started this journey to a healthy life in May of 2013, I had had my second child a month prior and I wanted to get fit and make sure my girls knew what living healthy was. Since my amazing husband had lost 65 lbs while I was pregnant, it was easy for me to fall into this healthy living once I had the green light after having my baby.  In July 2013 my husband learned of my fears: what an eye opening experience that was for him... (sorry babe!)  

We were going to be going on a family vacation to Disneyland, and I needed some pants- my mom watched the girls and we headed to the outlets by our house for me to try on some clothes (or so Derrick thought).  Instead, he saw me have a huge meltdown in a dressing room.  I had been working so hard for two months and I wasn't seeing any results.  I have this mental block with numbers, I don't know if it is because of society telling me that to be beautiful you need to be at the highest a size 4 or if it is because when I was at my smallest I fit into a size 2.  Either way, I was NOWHERE near that size, I was fitting into a 14- I broke down.  I was sick and tired of feeling Fat, Ugly, and Gross.  I was at a store trying on pants that I already had a fear of.  You see "Fat Annie" had shopped there before, and she "fat girl ripped" these pants at one time.  (I know anyone who has struggled with their weight knows what rip in your pants I'm talking about- the one down the inseam of your jeans- where it pulls so much that it starts to fray, then one day you are getting into your car or walking or getting up and they split- usually in the most inconvient time. You know the "fat girl rip")  I didn't want to try on these pants because I already had a mental block that I would be ugly in them.  As I tried to pull these past my thighs and I muffin topped myself into these things I lost it. When I looked in the mirror all I could see was "Fat Annie"  I started bawling, not just tears but uncontrollable shaking.  Derrick happened to be bringing me a couple other styles of jeans when this happened.  He handled this in the most amazing way I could have imagined.  He let me cry for a second, then he wiped away my tears and told me how beautiful I was- and that I had just given him his second child and I needed to let my body heal, that yes my hips were going to be little wider, for now- but that I would have my body back soon. But most importantly he told me that I was beautiful, and I believed him.  He then told me I didn't have to try on any more of these pants if I didn't want to (and I sure as hell didn't want to) We left the store, I think I only ended up getting one pair of pants at another store that day because I just couldn't bare the thought of purchasing that size of pants.  

On the way to the car after this horrible experience Derrick knew I needed a little "tough love" (oh does that man know me all too well!)  He asked me if I wanted to change, if I wanted to get healthy for the right reasons (for myself, not for him, or the girls, but if I wanted to change for ME!)  I truly did- so he helped me set up a plan for how I was going to get fit, healthy, and how I was going to start feeling better about myself!  I have been doing this now for 6 months (I am in my 4th month with my new plan and motivation)  I have started seeing results, not just in my body, but in myself!  I am proud of myself, I am starting to see myself as my husband has seen me for years!  But for those hard days, when 4 AM seems too daunting, or when you feel like you aren't at your best, or you feel like giving up REMEMBER:

*You have an amazing support system.  (Thank You to all who have helped me on my journey to a healthy life)

*You are beautiful. (Again, Thank You to all who have made me feel this way, Even when I don't see it)

*See how far you have come

*Be proud of yourself (You are no longer in a size 14, you are in a 6!)

*You can run as long as you set your mind to

*If you think you can't, you are right!

*Getting fit isn't a number it is a lifestyle

*You are doing this the right way!

*The hard work is paying off

*Don't let one bad day dictate your future

*Set goals, then CRUSH them!

*It isn't going to be easy, but it WILL be worth it! 

*EAT! (Healthy foods, not binge)

*Because you are doing this the right way- it will stay off

*No more yo-yo diets

*Most importantly LOVE YOURSELF! 

 

 

Mock Zupas Chicken Enchilada Soup

Chicken cut into chunks and browned with 1 small white onion (you can also use shredded chicken) I use for a LARGE pot worth 2 large chicken breasts or 3 small/medium sized ones.

2 cups of low sodium chicken broth

1 6 oz can of tomato paste (and 1 can worth of water)

1 can of Rotel

1 can of green chilies w/ the liquid

1 can of black beans rinsed and drained

1 tbsp mince garlic

1 tbsp chili powder

1/2 tsp cumin

Put all of the above ingredients into a large pot and put on a medium heat

*In a small sauce pan you'll be making the Roux: (all on a low/medium heat)

1/4 cup butter melted in small sauce pan

whisk in 1/2 cup flour until it makes a smooth lump (don't try using wheat flour- it doesn't work...I need to experiment with unflavored protein powder...but haven't had time to try!)

Once it is a smooth lump add 1 cup of skim milk

Whisk that until the sauce is smooth

Sprinkle cheese over the top of the sauce (I use about a 1/4 of a cup- 1/2 cup)

Melt Cheese into the Roux and make sure it smooths back out 

**SLOWLY add the Roux to the pot of soup to thicken it up and give it the cheesy/creamy taste!

***If you want to give this more of a kick add 2 tbsp chili powder

****OR if you are serving it for wimps, add about a cup of corn to it to tame the flavor down

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oatmeal Almond Joy Cookies

So...I may have forgotten a couple pieces of almond joys...like putting an almond on the top of these...oops! Next time though!

1 cup oat flour (literally just grind up in a blender dry oatmeal)

1/4 cup apple sauce

1/4 cup truvia

1/2 cup unpacked brown sugar

1 tbsp butter or butter substitute (I did use margarine...which normally I never would but I ran out of apple sauce)

1/2 cup milk chocolate chips

1 egg 

1/2 cup unsweetened coconut flakes

1 cup oats

1/2 tsp baking soda (heaping)

pinch of salt 

Mix together sugars and butter to kinda make it "creamy"

Throw everything into a bowl and mix together.

Bake at 350 for 9 mins

take out at the 9- mine kept cooking after I took them out of the oven!

This made 28 cookies:

76 Calories, 11 grams of Carbs, 3 grams of Fat, 2 grams protein, 7 mg in sodium/sugar.

*next time I make this I will most likely add protein to it as well as an almond sliver on top.  I have been trying to make sure in my baking I add protein because with my current lifestyle change the stage I am  in I need more protein in my diet, and this is a good way for me to mask it without feeling like I'm only eating chicken and eggs! (Also, Happy note- I am half way to my goal weight!)